This is a post from a Mommy group that I responded to.

Post: Long post ahead…

Moms please talk to me about daycare. We are registered to start my toddler in a couple weeks and I don’t know if it’s jitters or mommy instincts but I think I might have to back out. We’ve gone for 5 visits now to get LO acquainted and used to the teachers and other kids and I always come home with more worries over what I’ve seen. 

1. They follow the regulated 8:1 but the teachers don’t have their eyes on any kids or not all the kids alot of the times. They’re busy writing notes for parents, updating bulletin boards, preparing an activity, changing diaper in the washroom etc… there are 2 teachers but the kids are split into 2 groups and one is almost  always outside so only 1 teacher  in the classroom with 8 kids. They’re multi-tasking and doing  their job, but it makes me very uneasy that at times  no one is watching the kids. 

2. I havee never seen any group activity led by the teachers (ie. Circle time or reading) and the kids seem to just wander around the room. They do prepare a couple stations but it’s up to the kids to go use them so they’re usually unused. 

3. They encourage kids to be independent so I’ve seen kids sit on the washroom floor (gross!) trying to put socks or pants on for what seems like ages (probably 5 long minutes for my soft heart) until they either get it on or teacher comes back to help them. 

4. They spend alot of time outside. Kids need fresh air and exercise, I get it. But I feel like they spend way more time outside than they should in the winter. One visit I saw them go out for 1.5 hours just in the morning. Seems like BC there aren’t alot of activities inside so they just kill time outside. One kid came back with bright red fingers crying BC they were so cold. They said he took off his mittens but why didn’t they put them back on? 

5. The sleep cots!!! Do they all look so…… cheap? Just a few inches off the ground? Does not look comfortable at all. 

The teachers have been very open and helpful with my questions and the kids are so welcoming and friendly towards my child.

But I feel like everytime we go for a visit there are more and more things that turn me off. I know, no one will take care of your baby better than you will. But I don’t really see much benefit to going to daycare anymore. Not alot of learning or attention and the kids are nice but don’t even play together. Are all daycares like this?

Thoughts? I’ve lost so many nights of sleep going back and forth on this and I just want to make a decision. Thanks mommies!

My Response: I know it is scary to put your child’s care in someone else’s hands. When I had to leave my first at child care, I cried in the office for an hour, and I worked there and the educators were all my friends and people I trusted more than my own family with my child. It’s just hard ☹️ having said that, always listen to your gut. I do think it’s trying to tell you something, however the concerns you listed…. most are actually positives for me. The child care industry has gone through major changes in the last few years. As a result child care settings no longer look the way we remember them. These changes, although recent, are based on decades of research. Most of what we know about child development and learning we were discovering as far back as the 80’s, it’s just taken us this long to have the changes implemented. I’ll address each of your concerns separately:

  1. Your concerns about ratio sound quite valid however you will find it hard to find a centre that is any better. It is so typical that one is changing a diaper while the other is trying to be an educator. That is not a centre problem, that is an industry problem. I work at a very high quality non-profit centre with great funding and ours is still like this. I do not think it is optimal for learning, safety or the educators moral, however you simply won’t find one in York Region that is any better. Having said that, both educators should never have their backs to any children. All children should be in view at all times (within reason obviously, we don’t want to be security guards). All that busy work is a necessary part of the job, the children always come first but at some point that stuff has to get done so we constantly balance all the necessary tasks of the day (much like being a parent lol).
  2. This is one of the biggest changes. Circle time and large group activities that children are forced to participate in are no longer encouraged. Years of research shows these activities only appeal to some children and the forcing of all the children is far more detrimental to their development, the relationship with the educators and the general ambience of the room. You may have loved circle as a child (I did!) but my husband was “the bad kid” because he had trouble sitting for circle. Having said that, spontaneous reading, singing, poems, dancing etc. should be a regular part of the day for the children who want it. Example: child is talking about a frog they saw at the park, educator may read a book about frogs, initiate a game of leap frog or sing five green speckled frogs. As far as the learning experiences provided, if the children are not seeming engaged in the activities, it means the educators did not consider their interests enough. This is a necessary part of the “new way,” without this, yes the children will just wander around. Do not blame the educators solely, most of us are so over worked that it is next to impossible to spend the time necessary to reflect on the children’s budding interests and “plan” learning experiences. That’s why being able to be spontaneous is a great asset as an educator.
  3. Encouraging children to accomplish attainable tasks help to build their self confidence and feelings of self-efficacy so hopefully they can be self motivated to do things like finish their homework or go get a job someday. It is painful for all people to watch someone struggle, especially a child, (hardest part of the job some days) however we would actually get in trouble for helping them unnecessarily. Having said that, the task needs to be developmentally appropriate. You wouldn’t force a 10 month old to put on their own sock so the task needs to be attainable. You want children to experience the joy of success.
  4. The more time children spend outside, the happier they will be. The red cheeks will go away but the immediate and life long benefits of spending time outside will be everlasting. I know we want to keep them warm but they NEED to be outside. Research has proven it improves mental health, physical health, attention, sleep and eating habits.
  5. Yes all the cots are that gross. They may look old but they are very clean. There are rules for stacking them, cleaning them and laundering the sheets. Honestly they’re probably cleaner than my beds at home because of the obsessive cleaning lol.

Having said all this, I do think you should follow your instincts. I think maybe you can sense that the children are not engaged and that would give me an uneasy feeling. Try to look more at the quality of interactions between the children and educators. If the children are all over you when you are in the room, that is not a good sign. It means they are bored and starved for attention. Are the children playing? What are they doing? Children move around a lot when they play but as long as they are engaged in what they are doing, they are learning.

If you really prefer a more structured approach, I believe Montessori schools may offer that but it is mandated by the ministry of education that we provide free play for most of the day so you will still find a lot of time spent with children “doing their own thing.” The child care industry is filled with passionate, loving educators however it is far from perfect. Asking questions like this, on a public forum is a great way to get more information and gauge what is typical. Also the fact that they encouraged you to visit 5 times so far is a really big indicator of high quality. Low quality centre’s will generally not encourage too many visits as they don’t like being under the microscope. Still the most important thing is that you feel ok with leaving your child there. If you feel a great sense of unease, go with your gut and continue your search (or keep your child home, if that’s an option). Trust yourself to make the right choice for your family ❤️