Is counting to 3 a responsive strategy? I think a lot of people will feel defensive about this, as it is such a common strategy. However, the focus is on obedience. It is responsive to the parents need for the child to obey their command. It may feel as though you are giving them the time they need to listen to what you want them to do but during those three seconds, what is happening in your child’s brain? They’re panicking! The count down to them means in 3 seconds I’m going to be forced to stop doing what I want to do.

Giving them time to process your request is a great idea, as children process language slower than adults, due to their still developing language skills. So why not count silently in your own head? Count to 5 or 10.

While your at it, replace the 5 minute warning with “how much more time do you need?” Change the playground battle to a peaceful parenting experience. Often we spend this lovely time at the park, only to get in a power struggle when it’s time to leave. By tweaking these two common strategies we can avoid the power struggles that often lead to playground meltdowns.