At first glance, this seems like a fabulous idea! One I possibly would have thought of myself but my parenting experience has lead me to a different understanding. They have a “kindest” kid award in my child’s class. After many tears about trying to be so kind and not getting the award, I have realized that the award is given to the most compliant and obedient child, not the kindest. The one who is the least hassle for the teacher that day…. Unfortunately when we give one kid an award for being the “kindest” we inadvertently send the message to the other children that they are not kind.
A kindness wreath is a better way to do this. An empty wreath is hung at the beginning of the school year. If someone does something nice for you, you go tie a ribbon on the wreath. Older children can write what the kind act was. Throughout the year, the wreath becomes fuller, brighter and more elaborate. It’s a collaborative project that doesn’t single out one child at one time. But it is still an acknowledgment of someone else’s kindness.
On occasion the teacher may point out an unnoticed kind act; “I noticed Molly was helping Sarah get her book bag on. Let’s tie a ribbon on the kindness wreath.”
What we gain:
- The teacher is no longer the only one who determines what “kindness” means. A variety of definitions and examples may become evident.
- All children are encouraged and also acknowledged individually for being kind.
- Children collaborate to create a visual representation of all the wonderful moments they experienced connecting together, throughout the year.
- We create a motivational system that is more inclusive (although more could be done to make it even more inclusive, suggestions welcomed)
Responsive Parenting 