1. If your partner does not already equally share in the household responsibilities this will likely not change if you become parents together. 
  2. If your partner makes fun of other women’s bodies they are more likely to be unhappy with your body during pregnancy and post partum.
  3. If your partner does not support you when you are sick and/or on your period, they likely will not support you enough during pregnancy, birth and post partum. 
  4. Ask your partner how they would feel if your child was; LGBTQ, Disabled, not athletic, had mental health issues and/or addictions, was struggling with bullying or their school grades. Ask all those questions first and don’t ignore the red flags. 
  5. Discuss what your plans are if there is a medical emergency during birth and/or pregnancy.
  6. Discuss what you plan to do about birth control after birth. 
  7. Talk to your partner about the 6-8 weeks that you need for healing after birth. Their reaction will tell you a lot. Hint; saying they’ll just get BJs is not the sign of a “good man.”
  8. Have a plan for how you are going to have more rest time. Before kids, it’s easy to fit in self-care time. After a child, it often needs to be intentional and planned. 
  9. Discuss how finances will be impacted and who will pay for what once your child arrives. Discuss how you will afford your lifestyle if one of you gets sick or injured and insurance does not cover it. 
  10. Discuss what will happen if one of you wants out and figure it out in advance and have it in writing with a lawyer you hired.

I want to be clear that I am not saying I learned all this through personal experience. I have had a lot of women reach out to me and tell me their story.

I asked my IG audience “What would you add?” Here are some of the answers

Finding Your Calm

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