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Authenticity, Child-led learning, Communication, emotional intelligence, Empathy, Expectations, family, gentle parenting, labels, parenting, peaceful parenting, Principles, relationships, Responsive Parenting, trust

A child-led approach to encouraging new skills and interests: How can labels impact intrinsic motivation and identity formation?

March 9, 2019 — 0 Comments

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Listening to my husband negotiate with my 5 yo about going to bed in a robot voice and I think..... I knew I married a good one. #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parenting #intuitiveparenting #responsivedads #awesomedads

Crying in the Closet: Hiding Painful Emotions from your Children “Seeing someone we care about, and look up to, being vulnerable, only deepens our connection with that person, as intuitively, we all know it takes far more strength and resilience to be vulnerable, than it does to be emotionally unavailable and guarded." J. Milburn Link to article: https://wp.me/p9YDgq-8b #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #parentanger #emotionalintelligence #maternalmentalhealth

“I don’t feel like I am raising my children, more like we are growing together.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #familymatters #familytime #closefamily #intuitiveparenting #instinctualparenting #mindfulparenting #mindfulmamas

Guilt vs. Remorse “Feelings of remorse seem to come from a place of empathy. Whereas guilt seems to come from a place of fear and is more closely linked to shame. Genuine remorse cannot be faked or imposed by someone else, while guilt is often imposed by others and used to motivate people into compliance. Remorse is an internal process.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parenting #reflections #guilt #remorse

“Letting children have control does not make them feel entitled, it makes them feel empowered.” J. Milburn When we give an adult a task and ask them to take control of the project, we do not assume that this new found responsibility will encourage a sense of entitlement. In fact, in the adult world, we assume that giving someone control over a task will encourage them to take more ownership in that task. We see how it creates a sense of agency and we expect the person to be better able to complete the task if they are given full control over it. Why do we see children differently? Especially if this fear over creating an “entitled” child is based on concern for their adult life and motivation to perform in the workforce. The adult world actually sees giving control as a motivator for increased responsibility and agency over a project. Here is an article about children and this narrative about a “sense of entitlement” Do kids these days have a sense of entitlement? “If we tell children they are selfish, entitled and ungrateful, I believe they may become that way. If we encourage and model gratitude, humility, grace and kindness, our children will likely model those traits too. You want to change the world? Be kind to children.” J. Milburn Link to article: https://wp.me/p9YDgq-9S #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parentingjourney #parentingmemes #entitlement #empoweringwomen #empoweringquotes #empowerment #empoweringchildren

Look at who we are welcoming in 2020!! This delightful surprise will be #3. The feeling of life growing inside you is not really comparable to anything. It’s terrifying and exciting, all at the same time. With every kick, a sigh of relief, with every scan or appointment, worry, fear, doubt. We waited to announce this pregnancy because it has not been a simple journey, thus far. Although we are being monitored closely, at this point, our babe looks healthy, happy and appears to be meeting their growth targets. As a NICU parent, with our first, I have learned that fear never really goes away. Little one, you are so loved and cherished already ❤️ can’t wait to meet our newest family member in March (if I make it to my due date, which I never do).

“Authenticity is one of the most beautiful and courageous traits one can portray. Parents who live authentically, not only model that for their children, but for the whole world.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parenting #unconditionallove #authenticparenting

“What if, instead of trying to teach our children everything we know about the world, we just love them? Children are natural learners, it is as natural as nursing. Our children are already being taught by the world around them. Even the grasshopper and the leaf have thousands of lessons for children to learn. Only a child’s parents are capable of demonstrating the profound lesson of how to be loved with complete acceptance. Ensuring secure attachment, through responsive caregiving is the single most important role every parent has. Keep it simple, just love them.” J. Milburn Note: I realize nursing does not come naturally to everyone and “learning” itself can be harder for some than others. However, children have evolved to be intrinsically motivated to seek nourishment, comfort and knowledge. With a typically developing child, these impulses can help the child get their needs met. With children who struggle in any of these areas, they still tend to be motivated to meet their needs, they may just require more support or a personalized approach to do so. Regardless, I strongly believe unconditional love and acceptance is the most important gift we can offer our children. This fosters secure attachment which will serve as a secure base and only further facilitate the meeting of all their needs. #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #allyouneedislove #secureattachment

“When I thought I was not supposed to hold my child while they slept, I felt like the worst parent when I did, and constantly longed for them to transfer easily to their crib. Once I realized my child feels safest in my arms and that’s why they want to be there all the time, holding my children while they slept became a treasured moment. There is nothing sweeter and more gratifying than a snuggly baby sleeping in your arms. I had to let go of the fear and guilt, to experience the joy.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parenting #unconditionallove #cosleeping #bedsharing #velcrobaby #babycuddlesarethebest

“Some of the most cooperative and polite children become the most unhappy adults” J. Milburn The thing about young children is, although a compliant, polite child is more convenient and often more “pleasant” to be around, the child who is less eager to please others is actually avoiding developing many people pleasing traits, that stick with many of us throughout our lives. This is the age we either start to learn what we want or start to learn what others want. In order to develop autonomy, intrinsic motivation and self-efficacy, we need to be able to focus on our own needs. Attachment can either be a distraction from one’s own needs when it is used to manipulate behaviour, or it can be used as a support, while your child is developing their own sense of self. Like a warm sweater on a cold day; it doesn’t hold you back, it gives you the comfort and support you need to continue on. Attachment is a tricky thing sometimes. An easy tempered, securely attached child can look a lot like a child with avoidant attachment. The level of warmth and reciprocity in their relationship with their primary caregiver is usually the best indicator of their attachment quality. Note: This statement does not apply to every cooperative, well-mannered child. The “some” part of the statement is crucial. Some children do help out more than others because they are intrinsically motivated or socially advanced enough to understand the value of manners. Either way, this statement is not universal and just something to ponder ❤️ #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting

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