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Building trust with empathy and love

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Authenticity, Child-led learning, Communication, emotional intelligence, Empathy, Expectations, family, gentle parenting, labels, parenting, peaceful parenting, Principles, relationships, Responsive Parenting, trust

A child-led approach to encouraging new skills and interests: How can labels impact intrinsic motivation and identity formation?

March 9, 2019 — 0 Comments

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“We’re not parenting with guilt and fear. We’re parenting with empathy and love.” J. Milburn Next time someone challenges your parenting as “too soft” “spoiling” “not strict enough” try this response. It’s ok to let people know our intentions. #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parentingquotes #parentingmemes #parentingjourney

“A Mother’s worth is not measured in laundry piles, healthy meals or fake smiles. A Mother’s worth is measured by her unconditional love for her children.” J. Milburn I often see posts about “if you didn’t get the laundry done or your kids had take out for supper, don’t worry you’re doing the best you can.” These posts are supposed to help mothers feel at peace with where they are in their lives. But I find it somewhat perpetuates this myth that a mother’s worth is measured by her ability to meet societal expectations. If she somehow chose love over cleaning, it is perceived as her “having a bad day.” NO!! I don’t like cleaning and I often opt for fun instead. For myself and my children. A bad day for me would be one spent cleaning and I know I am not alone in this lol. I hate living in squalor so I do clean but I would much rather spend time with my children. When I was a child, the messy houses were the fun one’s because there was always something new to explore. So if ALL you did today was get up and love your kids, you did not have a bad day, you are not a mom failing at life today, you are succeeding. You are taking care of you. Making choices that are best for your family. Lead with love, not with fear, and happiness and peace will be your reward. #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #maternalmentalhealth

“Sometimes people are so concerned with making sure children do not feel “spoiled,” they forget to make sure they feel special.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parentingjourney #empoweringchildren #lovemychild #childrenarespecial

Unrealistic Expectations “Many expectations for our children are rooted in an unfulfilled personal need, not in a desire to fulfill our children's personal goals. It seems to be a misconception that high expectations are necessary for motivating a child to be successful. Herein lies some of the problem, we are getting confused between expectations and believing in your child. It is important to show your child you believe in them but that looks very different from having high expectations.” J. Milburn Excerpt from How can unrealistic expectations influence your relationship with your child?: https://responsiveparentingblog.com/2018/10/14/what-unrealistic-expectations-can-harm-children/ #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parentingjourney #expectations #unrealisticexpectations

Excerpt from: “I Hate You!”: Responding to Hurtful Words By J. Milburn Watching your child act in a way that is unkind and hurtful, is not only painful, but can be scary. The spiral of worry and parent guilt starts spinning around in our heads; what did I do? How could my child be so mad at me? Where did they learn to talk to me like that? Have I failed them? Will they speak to their teacher like that? They'll have no friends and end up in jail with an attitude like this. They need to know that this is just simply unacceptable, no matter how mad you are. This train of thought is very logical and justified. It's also the prevalent narrative in our society; that above all, we must teach our children to be respectful to others. Treating people with kindness, when you are feeling salty, is very hard for even adults to do. Empathy, trust and attachment is all you need to teach a child safe and healthy coping skills. Empathize with your child, trust in your child that they have the capacity to learn the value of kindness and utilize your attachment relationship with your child to offer support, in these often challenging moments. Link to Article: https://responsiveparentingblog.com/2019/04/18/i-hate-you-responding-to-hurtful-words/ #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #meltdowns #empathyispower

“Nurturing, not neglect or abuse, produces confident, pro social adults. Some children start displaying these features early. Others, it can take decades until the benefits of responsive parenting can be seen.” - J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting

Responding, Instead of Reacting "The tendency to react, instead of respond, to emotionally charged situations, is not just a parenting challenge, it is a human challenge. We were made to react to threats. We perceive threats through our senses. Therefore, if we sense any emotion that we perceive as threatening, we tend to react, instead of respond." J. Milburn Excerpt from:https://responsiveparentingblog.com/2019/06/05/responding-instead-of-reacting/ #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #meltdowns #empathyispower #reflectivepractice

Love like the sun, not like a rainbow “Unconditional love is like the sun; dependable, constant, warm, radiant light. Conditional love is like a rainbow; a surprise, a rarity, something that happens after a storm but not always. You have to be in just the right spot, at just the right time, looking in just the right direction. No, I want my love to be like the sun; everywhere my children look, I want them to see me shining down on them, lighting their way. And when they close their eyes, I want them to feel the warmth of my love surrounding them. Rainbows are beautiful, but only the sun has the power to nurture and grow. Even the plants know, they need the consistent care only the sun can provide, not the fleeting beauty of the rainbow.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parenting #unconditionallove #lovemychild #lovemychildren

Listening to my husband negotiate with my 5 yo about going to bed in a robot voice and I think..... I knew I married a good one. #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parenting #intuitiveparenting #responsivedads #awesomedads

Crying in the Closet: Hiding Painful Emotions from your Children “Seeing someone we care about, and look up to, being vulnerable, only deepens our connection with that person, as intuitively, we all know it takes far more strength and resilience to be vulnerable, than it does to be emotionally unavailable and guarded." J. Milburn Link to article: https://wp.me/p9YDgq-8b #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #parentanger #emotionalintelligence #maternalmentalhealth

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Responding, Instead of Reacting
Responding to Questions About Sleep Training
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A child-led approach to encouraging new skills and interests: How can labels impact intrinsic motivation and identity formation?
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