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Aggression, Attachment, Behavior, Behaviour, Emotional Outbursts, Empathy, Fear, Meltdowns, Parent Anger, parenting, peaceful parenting, punishment, relationships, Respect, Responsive Parenting, Teens, Trauma, trust

Teenage Angst May Be More About Fear Than Attitude: Fear responses, and how they can impact teen behaviour

January 18, 2019 — 0 Comments

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Posted @withregram • @kristinakuzmic This one is important. This one is really, really important. I feel like I could write an entire book just on this topic. #responsiveparenting #parentguilt #parenting #momguilt #parentanger

“A child-led approach is not a “whatever a child wants” approach. It is more about meeting a child’s needs. Sometimes they need something, they do not want and those moments can be tricky. It is not uncommon to struggle with finding the balance between honouring your child’s autonomy and keeping them safe and healthy.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parenting #childled #autonomy

NEW BLOG POST!! What Is Responsive Toilet Learning? A lot of parents are on board with responsive parenting, until it comes to potty training. This is understandable because in our effort to spread the message about not training, we inadvertently forgot to tell people what can be done to support their child’s toilet learning journey. We may not be into traditional training methods but we do have strategies we use to support our children in the transition out of diapers. Potty proficiency requires a complex combination of abilities that are mostly a result of development; same as sleeping and eating. Each aspect of development works together to achieve potty proficiency. There are things you can do before your child is interested in the toilet, when they first show an interest and when they are actively engaged in toilet learning. Setting them up for success, making it fun and following your child’s lead are all responsive toilet learning strategies. https://responsiveparentingblog.com/2020/05/24/what-is-responsive-toilet-learning/ Link in story or bio. #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #toilettraining #pottytraining #toiletlearning

“Watching your child do things you were not allowed to do as a child can be a major trigger for irritability. No matter how much you have decided to be a gentle parent, when your child starts breaking societal rules that you would not have gotten away with, it can become extremely difficult to cope with your own feelings. Recognizing the root of your frustration is the first step to processing it without letting it overwhelm you.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting

My husband was mowing the lawn today, which I was happy about, until I noticed all the wildflowers and dandelions were going to get mowed over. The boys have been using the dandelions in their play, since they appeared. They have found numerous ways to incorporate the plant into their play. We have collected them, gifted them, decorated with them and my eldest even ate a few. It’s nice because you can allow your children to pick them and no one cares. Even as my husband mowed the dandelions down, the boys sat on a rock together, blowing the wispy seeds off of dandelions. They were making wishes. I have never told them to make a wish when you blow on a dandelion, so I guess this is something they heard of or came up with on their own. We still have lots of dandelions in the backyard, so not to worry. What I reflected on was the beauty of a child’s non-judgemental mind. They just see a pretty flower. It reminded me of an experience I had while doing a placement in an after school program. The conversation demonstrated how children intuitively understand equality. Conversation with a seven year old Child: Why are dandelions called weeds? Educator: I don’t know. I always wondered that myself because they are pretty like flowers. I think “weeds” just means a plant that grows really well and all over the place. Child: When I see my first shooting star, I’m going to wish all the dandelions turn into flowers and aren’t weeds any more. ❤️ In the eyes of a child, even the invasive, bright, loud and annoying dandelion deserves just as much glory and appreciation as the subtle lilac bush. For children, flowers are flowers and they all deserve the coveted title, regardless of the way they behave in nature. J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #equality #childseyes #thingsthatkidssay

Q: Are typical parenting strategies really not necessary when responsive parenting is practiced? A: While I do agree with this, I hesitate to use this narrative because it sets up the expectation that if you are a responsive parent, your child will not “misbehave.” The truth is, it’s about something much deeper. It’s about accepting your child for who they are and not trying to change them. Because there is no effort to “fix” the child, the typical discipline strategies just don’t make any sense. They are counterproductive. But without that mindset change, parents get frustrated because they are suppressing their feelings all the time to try and be gentle and their kids still act like kids which can seem like a three ring circus sometimes. J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting

“This next generation we are raising, with all this insight and empathy, are going to provide a gateway of healing for next generations. But not every child from this generation will have that same opportunity to celebrate their individuality. Many families will continue to value conformity and obedience over authenticity and unconditional love. These families are not cruel and heartless they are likely scared. Scared to go against the grain, scared to not conform themselves. Conformity feels very safe for many people. But it keeps people stuck in a frame of mind where they are working for external acceptance. Conformity is about caring so much about fitting in, that we sacrifice our own unique traits, or suppress them, to be accepted by others. It is a fear response to our need for attachment and connection.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #meltdowns #empathyispower #reflectivepractice #conformity

We are all experiencing a level of trauma right now. Even if you feel like you are doing well. You are coping well with a global trauma. Something that changes the world so significantly, in such a short time, can be scary. This may be helpful for those who are wondering how to support our children during this time: “When you are a parent of a traumatized child, I think the natural instinct is to protect them from the world. However, this will only reinforce the message that the world is a place to be feared. Instead of surrounding your child with anxiety, fear, worry and doubt, surround them with support, a sense of security and unconditional love and acceptance. When a child knows they are safe at home, they can begin to feel safe in the world again.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #familymatters #familytime #closefamily #intuitiveparenting #instinctualparenting #mindfulparenting #mindfulmama #PTSD #trauma #childhood trauma

“When we try to teach our children how to “fit in” to society, we inadvertently send the message that conformity has a higher value than authenticity. Ineffect, priming them for a life of mediocrity and unhappiness, as nobody ever feels like they “fit in” when they are not being their authentic selves.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #peacefulparenting #childdevelopment #momblogger #mindfulparenting #mombloggers #attachment #parent #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhoodeducation #mindfulmama

“Being a parent is not about creating a perfect world for our children. It is about providing them with the love and support they need to feel valued and safe in this very imperfect world that they are living in.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhoodeducation #earlychildhoodeducator #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #childdevelopmentspecialist #parenting #parent #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #empoweringchildren #parentingmemes #parentingjourney #parentingtips #parentingquotes

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